The Stigma Around Prenups Is Fading — For Good Reason
Prenuptial agreements were once seen as a cynical preparation for divorce — something only the wealthy or the suspicious pursued. That perception has shifted significantly, particularly among people who marry later in life, who have children from previous relationships, who own businesses, or who carry significant student debt.
A prenuptial agreement is simply a contract between two people who are about to marry, specifying how financial matters will be handled if the marriage ends. Approaching it as responsible financial planning — rather than planning for failure — changes the entire dynamic.
What a Prenup Can Legitimately Protect
Property owned before marriage — real estate, investments, business interests — can be designated as separate property, ensuring it remains yours if the marriage ends. Inheritance rights can be preserved, ensuring that assets intended for children from a prior relationship are protected.
Debt allocation can be specified — particularly important if one partner has significant student loans or business debt. Income earned during marriage can be designated as separate property (though this is rarely advisable for equitable partnership reasons). Post-divorce support arrangements can be pre-negotiated.
What a Prenup Cannot Do
Courts will not enforce provisions that determine child custody or child support in advance — these are determined at the time of divorce based on the children’s then-current needs and best interests. A prenup cannot waive future child support rights.
Provisions that encourage divorce (essentially rewarding a party financially for ending the marriage), provisions that are grossly unconscionable at the time of enforcement, and any provision that requires something illegal will be voided by courts.
Non-financial matters — rules about household chores, social behavior, or lifestyle — are not enforceable in court, though some couples include them as personal statements.
Requirements for a Valid Prenup
To be enforceable, a prenuptial agreement generally requires: full and fair financial disclosure by both parties (hiding assets voids the agreement), voluntary execution without coercion (signing under pressure shortly before the wedding is the most common basis for challenge), time to review (presenting the agreement days before the wedding, with a venue full of guests, creates undue pressure claims), independent legal advice for each party, and proper execution in writing with notarization.
How to Raise the Conversation
Raise the topic early — months before the wedding — not as a demand but as a financial planning conversation. Frame it around transparency: ‘I want us both to understand each other’s financial situation and have clear agreements before we marry.’ Acknowledging the other person’s feelings and concerns is essential.
Both parties having their own attorneys review the agreement is not just legally protective — it signals that this is a collaborative process, not a power play.